Causerie

My Words Are Few

I wrote a post about it and decided to not publish it (yet).  Everything about it --- the wording, the sentiments, my emotions were off (and perhaps a little too raw) and for this reason I haven't shared my thoughts about the Trayvon Martin tragedy. 

And yes, it is a tragedy. Families are devastated and it appears as though our country is on the brink of an emotional and racial powder keg that will probably render everyone bloody, bruised and internally wounded for life. 

I'm considering my words, even now.  I'm trying to listen to my heart while watching "The News".  And, I'm wringing my hands like my grandmother used to do when she was worried.  We need to talk about this and I think I'll be ready to do so soon.  Until then, I'd like to know what are you thinking about this?  What are you feeling?

Let's Talk About Being a Mom

"Its weird to think of myself re-starting as a mother of two, also. It seems so different than just having one. Is it?"  Marie asked this question in the comment section on the "Restart" post and I think it's a good question.

When I got pregnant with my second child, I was worried I wouldn't have "enough" to go around.  Enough energy, time, love, attention, patience, breast milk.  I was concerned about our finances and I wondered if our house would be big enough.

When I got pregnant with my third child, I was worried I wouldn't have "enough" to go around.  Enough energy, time, love, attention, breast milk.  I was concerned about our finances and wondered if our house would be big enough.

When I got pregnant with my fourth child, I was worried I wouldn't have "enough" to go around.  Enough energy, time, love, attention, breast milk - however at this point the breast milk worry was no longer an issue because my pump had been primed and there was plenty for everyone.  But still, I was concerned about our finances - which were considerably less and by that point we had moved into a larger space.  

So, here's my answer, Marie.  It's very different going from having one child to two. The days of trying to remember where you left just one child will be gone and you'll have to go out and buy two of everything.  But it's worth it.  And you'll acquire new mothering skills - Black Ops kind of stuff  that really pays off when they become teenagers.

What do you think?  What advice can you give Marie?

Intentional Harm

Think about this.

Go to any major city and find out where the majority of the Black population lives and, if you dare, drive through those neighborhoods.  What do you see? 

More than likely, you'll find on almost every few corner a liquor store, a cigarette shop, a pawn shop or a raggedy corner store that sells just about anything a pimp, prostitute, drug addict or dealer may want.  You'll see more trash and garbage and tires dumped in this part of the city than anywhere else.  You'll find gas stations that sell marijuana papers right up front, adjacent to those pocket-sized bottles of whiskey.  And you'll see boarded up businesses and vacant houses.  And if - if you are able to locate a grocery store, you'll be so appalled by the quality of food (especially the produce) that you would never, ever, consider putting it on your table.

Think about it...

 (It's called structural racism and from time to time, I'd like to talk more about this)

In the Backyard: My Thoughts on Opportunity and Priviledge

Jacqui wondered why did children from disadvantaged neighborhoods need to know the difference between a Renoir and a Warhol?  And she questioned the need for those children to be exposed to the arts at all.

At the risk of sounding like I know what's best for the young people in the hood, I will say that I believe that those without the exposure and opportunity to look, listen, taste, feel and learn beyond their own backyard will often stay in their backyard.  Now, there's nothing wrong with being in ones own backyard, if one is content to stay there; however, what I see over and over with the kids I work with, is not only are they content and to a certain degree compliant to stay where they are ---- most don't even realize that there's a front yard just on the other side of the house.

When we took the museum trip, one young man was intrigued to point of giddiness when we toured the area where a poet was seated at an old electric typewriter.  The kids were given the chance to say a topic --- anything --- and the artist would immediately tap, tap, tap out an original poem.  The kids yelled out, "Hamburgers!  Nike's!  My sister!"  and the poet took each word they said and ultimately combined it into one really clever poem.  I wish I had the finished piece here so that you could read it, but the young man who was so intrigued by the artistry of it all,  grabbed the piece of paper, folded it neatly and tucked it in his pocket.  Now that was incredible.  

A few days later, I learned that the young man ---  this boy from the hood --- had a renewed interest in writing and that he was encouraged to learn that people actually got paid to sit at a typewriter and write poetry.  Who knew, was the look he gave me as we discussed the museum.

So now, it seems like the only right thing for me to do is to gently nudge him towards the front of the house.  

Slow and Steady

I've started running again.  And it's not pretty.  By the time I finish, it looks as though I've stood in the rain and wet my pants at the same time.  I'm breathing like I did when I was in labor and I have to cling to the nearest tree, bench or treadmill to keep from falling over in exhaustion. 

When I was in D.C., one morning I got on the hotel treadmill and decided to try a slow jog.  Mentally distracted as I practiced my speech, I was shocked when I looked down and saw that five minutes ---- five whole minutes --- had gone by.  Now, for you seasoned runners you are probably cracking up, but let me tell you that for me it was like winning a marathon.  Up until that point I had only been able to jog about a minute and a half before almost throwing up. 

When I returned home, I decided to slowly add a little more time to my routine.  I would walk a long time, then jog a minute and 45 seconds; walk, walk, walk, jog a minute and 50 seconds...  By the time I had worked up to jogging one mile it took me almost 22 minutes. 

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend (a woman who is in her 60s) and I told her that I had started running.  Actually I need to clarify something here.  It's not really running when you think of running --- like most of you do.  It's a slow --- s...l...o...w  jog.  Most people are walking faster than me when they pass me on the track.  Anyway my friend, who is in excellent shape runs five times a week and she shared that she can run a mile in about eleven minutes.  I was stunned.

Mr. Man ran cross country when he young and nimble and I asked him what was his best mile. He said, "I don't remember exactly but, I think it was four and some change."  I was shocked.  Yesterday, I completed a mile in 16:22 minutes and I thought I was really doing something. 

So here's my question: Should I focus on building up my distance (I can now jog 2.5 miles slowly... very slowly) or should I concentrate on time? 

What do you mean you can't smoke on the plane anymore?

At the risk of sounding like cuzin' Becky from Kansas, I have something to confess.   

You see, my job is sending me to Washington D.C. on a real, big-girl business trip.  I'll be meeting with some very important people to advocate on behalf of the community I work for, which means I'll probably have to wear high-heels and pantyhose.  But here's the deal - I'm terrified to fly.  The last time I had to get on a plane, my doctor prescribed a woozy pill, so that by the time we landed, I was terrified AND doped-up and not in a good way.

And here's the other thing:  I honestly don't know how to pack for a two-day business trip.  Carry on luggage or not?  Apparently, there's not to be any liquids, shoes, meals or pillows.   And with the changes at airport check-in --- the pornography and molestation and all --- I just don't know what to expect anymore.

Help friends.  I need travel tips.  

From Counting to Tipping

The comments you left on the "Count" post were heading in this direction --- "Tipping" --- so, of course, we have to talk about it, especially since we are now in the holiday season and gratuities are ever present on the minds of those in the service industry.

I have a friend who thinks it's generous to leave a one dollar tip, no matter what the final bill is.  "It's their job," she says even though I've explained how most waiters/waitresses are paid less than minimum wage and how they need those extra tips. 

Though I have never waited tables, my sister and niece have.  And my goodness!  The stories they've told!   

It's not an easy job.