Causerie

Read

I've been a fan of Lisa's blog for over a year now.  I wonder how can one person read so many books?  How can one person have this much knowledge and intelligence?  How is it possible that this witty librarian book-reviewer extraordinaire have such an amazing sense of humor?  (Maybe that's stereotyping...) 

Any how, Lisa is like the friend you need for those times when you're around smart people who ask stuff like ("Oh and have you read such-and-such?")  Believe me, Lisa's read it.

So, if you are trying to figure out what to read next, you must read her blog first.  Check this out. (Get it?  Check this out!  Library humor...)

KT

Our creative and very talented home-girl and hand grenade, Katy (KT 40s) is featured here today on this very popular and lovely blog under the "12 Days of Chookooloonks" Giveaway.  Stop by, give Katy some love, buy something from her Etsy shop and enter the give-a-way by leaving a comment.

Congratulations Katy!

Catching Up

Whew.  Busy, busy, busy. Let's get caught up.

First of all, did you hear how Roswitha (Mama) did in the Boston Marathon?  If you don't know, Mama's daughter, Elizasmom, wrote about it here.  I absolutely adore both of these women.  Talk about inspiration.

Brand new mommy, Marie, was able to stop by this week for a quick hello.  We miss you, Marie, but we all know how busy you are. 

The weight loss update:  As you can see that one pound loss remains unchanged.  That's all I'm gonna say about it.  Well... I will say this, the book I'm reading, Women Food and God by Geneen Roth is phenomenal. There's a lot of new age goobly-gock that I, for some reason, can not understand, but there are many other mind-blowing observations that completely "speak" to me.   (pg. 85) "...You've got to be willing to believe that you were put on this earth for more than your endless attempts to lose the same 30 pounds 300 times for 80 years."  I was like, "Preach it, girl!"

I'm hosting a brunch tomorrow for a group of friends  who are coming over for drinks, conversation, laughs and a little noshing before we all head out to see the new Tyler Perry play at  KC's fancy new venue, The Sprint Center.  I anticipate a really good time.  I wish you all could be here. 

3 Minutes < or > with Roswitha (aka "Mama")

On my journey to lose weight, eat better and generally get healthier, I'm leaning on many friends and family to help me achieve my goal.  I'm seeking advice from those "in the know" and one such woman is our friend, Roswitha; but many of you know her as "Mama" or Elizasmom's Mom.   This woman is absolutely amazing and I'm just thrilled she agreed to be "interviewed."   Here's our conversation.

 

 

You are one of the most physically fit women I know.  Do you mind sharing your age?

No, I do not mind. I am 61 years old, and although it’s not my favorite age ever, I am ok with it. What choice do I have anyway, right?

 

You've mentioned that you have had to fight with weight issues all of your life, tell us about that.

I never was overweight by today’s standards, but born at 10 pounds, I carried some “baby fat” all through childhood and into my teenage years. It bothered me, and around the age of 14, I started reading every magazine article about weight loss and the latest miracle diet. I quickly learned that unbalanced diets like “The Grape Diet”, “The Potato Diet”, etc., make you insane, not skinny. Far more promising was counting calories. I realized that it all comes down to eating the right amounts of the right foods. Luckily, I loved a lot of the right foods, such as fruits and vegetables, anyway. So dieting was not necessarily all sacrifice and deprivation.

This approach worked until after Elizasmom was born and I had a hard time with this new kind of “baby fat”. Breakfast and lunch had never been a problem for me, it was always dinner that made me overeat. Luckily, a perfect new diet came to the rescue. Divide a regular dinner plate into four sections. Cover one of them with meat or fish, another one with potatoes, rice, or other starch, and fill up the rest with veggies. Yes, it’s that easy!

It worked like a charm and to this day, it is my “Reset Diet” that I resort to after splurging too much for too long. Within a week or two, I am back to where I want to be.

What do you eat for breakfast?

Usually it is a slice of whole-wheat toast with some good jam scratched thinly onto it, a pot of tea without sugar and, very important, the newspaper. On weekends, after long training runs, we sometimes go to one of the many wonderful little Mexican restaurants around town where we indulge, guilt-free, until our stomachs are moaning with contentment. 

 

What's for lunch?

Lunch is just as boring as breakfast: two slices of whole-wheat bread with 2 – 3 slices of something lean in-between, and maybe a piece of fruit afterwards. Occasionally, when I am out on errands around lunchtime, I treat myself to something more interesting. But I make careful choices because I don’t want to ruin my appetite for dinner.

 

Dinner?

I love dinner and spend a lot of thought on it. Fresh is the key. I usually pick the vegetables first and then dream up a meal that will complement them. Unless I go to the fish vendor first. Then the fresh fish becomes the centerpiece.

I believe that the less handling and covering up of food under gooey matters (i.e. sauces, gravies, mayonnaise), the better the taste. A naked green bean is delicious. A red pepper, gently sautéed in some olive oil, tastes sweet. A little salt is nice, but there are so many other spices that enhance the natural taste of various foods even better. And herbs from the backyard are the best. 

I also cook as much as I can from scratch because the ingredient lists of convenience foods scare me. It takes a little bit longer, mostly because of the washing and chopping of vegetables, and I know that is an issue for busy families. To make this extra time more meaningful, why not invite other family members occasionally into the kitchen for some pre-dinner talk and joint chopping?

 

Snacks?  I like pastries and candy.  What about you?

I rarely snack. Growing up in post-war Germany, we had three meals a day. Between those meals, the kitchen was closed. Consequently, we were pretty hungry when we came to the table, and we ate as much as we could of whatever was put in front of us since the next meal was hours away. That still works for me, and it keeps the kitchen from being messy at all hours of the day. Love it!

However, for honesty’s sake, I feel compelled to confess that I hardly ever buy snack foods because once I have them in my home, I can’t control myself. My worst downfalls are pastries, especially the homemade kind, and cheese, wonderful, delicious cheese. I also can’t be trusted around any kind of pretzels.  

 

You are a marathon runner --- that blows my mind!  I can't run around the block. How many marathons have you participated in?  Are you training for one now?I

I started running after our move to the USA, 30 years ago, to help me lose the pounds I had gained during that somewhat stressful time. For many years I just ran for myself, by myself, but about 10 years ago, I got hooked on competing in races from 5 km to marathons.

Since I was already in my Mid-Fifties when I started running marathons, I have done only eight so far. For the moment, I am training for the Boston Marathon 2010, for which I qualified while running Boston 2009. Elizasmom’s and Eliza’s support were instrumental to this re-qualification and therefore they will be my esteemed cheerleaders again this year, on April 19. 

 

Okay, you know I need to get in shape so, what can I do to start?

I recommend this “Reset Diet” of mine. First of all, could it be any simpler? It also gives you a lot of flexibility. With so many choices to fill those 4 sections of a plate, you should not feel deprived of anything you love to eat. On top of that, you get a healthy variety of foods.

However, to burn any significant amount of calories, you also have to move. That means small things like parking your car in the farthest corner of the lot to starting a training program. I usually recommend walking as the first step. Everyone can walk. The cost is near to nothing, although I recommend investing in good walking shoes. You can do it everywhere – as long as no notorious criminals are around ;-) – and it does not jar the joints. It’s also very social if you hook up with a reliable and interesting walking partner.

 

 

Give us the best piece of advice you have regarding good health.

Good health is of vital importance for our well-being. Some of the factors that determine how healthy we are, we can’t control, such as genes, environment, etc. But we have a great deal of control over what we eat. So eating well by making healthy choices, keeping our weight within a healthy range, that is actually empowering. 

Beware of all extremes and don’t become obsessed with a number on your scale. I have a range of  5 pounds that is my “perfect weight”. As long as I don’t go over or under, life is good.

Don’t despair when things go slowly or when you fall off the boat occasionally. It happens to all of us. Keep a good memory of the tub of ice cream or the humongous amount of cheese you had last night and start the new day determined to get back with the program.

Finally, Dina, I wish you success in your quest for greater fitness. You will be so proud of yourself!

 

Isn't she amazing!  And let's not forget to send up good thoughts for her on the 19th. (Mama, you rock!)

 

Roswitha,  thank you for taking the time to share with us a part of your every day life.  By the giving of yourself today, you've given us knowledge and it's been said that knowledge is power.  If this is true, then what we choose to do with the information we  have now, will be entirely up to us (me).

 

Let's choose well, friends.

 

 

3 Minutes < or > With Jacqui Pheanious

At the beginning of the year, I mentioned how this year, I'm going to be "paying attention" and that means I'm looking for opportunities to learn as much as I can. 

After previous conversations we had on this subject, I knew that I wanted to know more about the challenges of being "homeless" and I knew the person I wanted to talk to about it.   So here's a conversation with our friend, Jacqui.

In the world of employment, Jacqui, who are you?

I am the Executive Director of Life Haven, Inc. www.lifehaven.org, (we will be launching a new website in about two weeks). I have B.S. in Human Services and I'm a State certified HIV/AIDS educator and tester. I have worked in this field for 25 years in New Haven, Connecticut and I've watched my childhood friends die, their children die and now I'm dealing with their grandchildren. (My next career, which I'm working on now, is floral arrangement and interior design).

 

When we talk about the homeless, we often think of old dirty men or women of the streets, but in reality it's much more, right?

 

It's really more than that.  There are many working people in professional and non-professional jobs who are homeless.

 

 

What about the children?

This is a great question.  We tend to forget about the children because they are not "seen".  It's the parents we see, but the children are homeless as well.  In fact,  children are the new face of homelessness.

 

Life Haven, Inc,  has a licensed childcare center on site for children 6 weeks to 5 years old. This childcare center serves only homeless children, and we never have a slot open. We take eight infant/toddlers and 10 preschool.  In six years, I have seen over 50 babies born and the shelter is their first home.

 

We are the only shelter in the state of CT with a licensed childcare center on site. Teenagers living in a shelter --- can you imagine when the friends who judge find out? It can be very stressful for a kid. Some kids have lived in shelters so much of their lives that it motivates them to go to college; to have housing and with the hopes of getting an education, land a great job and so that they will never be homeless again.

 

Others think having a baby is a way to get housing. This is really sad, because the child who has now become a parent, most of the time, has not had a parent who actually did any parenting, so this 18 year parent has zero parenting skills and they are living in the shelter!  How is she going to provide a home for this new baby? 

 

How does one become homeless usually?

There are many reasons people are homeless, but let's start with the reason that may be a little bit easier for you to digest: fire, death of a parent or husband/wife, asbestos, loss of income.  Now, what we do not like to accept or support is addiction, HIV/AIDS, eviction, mental illness, incarceration and domestic violence. We think addiction, eviction, incarceration and domestic violence are simply bad choices, so we don't have a lot of feeling for people who are in these situations. Some people have committed some awful crimes while being homeless --- please do not misunderstand me --- and they should be held accountable; but, there are other people who steal and rob in order to go to jail just so they can get "three hots and a cot" as they call it.

 

 

What about the mentally ill?  How do they factor in to this equation? 

Mental illness is a big factor here in CT and I'm not sure what other states are doing, but we do not have a facility for the mentally ill to live other than the jails or shelters.  For sure there are people who suffer with this disease who live on their own or in supportive housing, but there are many who do not take medication who have not been diagnosed or who are dual diagnosed (mental illness and on drugs) that we see in the shelters. The age range is 18 and up. We also see a lot of children with sexual aggression issues, children ranging from eight to ten-years old.  Unfortunately, these children cannot live in a shelter, therefore they are hospitalized until the parent is able to secure an apartment.  

 

 

Here in Kansas City, we see so many panhandlers.  Does giving money to them hurt or help?

In New Haven there are also many panhandlers.  We once had a program where you could purchase coupons from a participating store and give the panhandler a coupon so that they could buy food. It worked for a long time.  I'm not sure what happened with that program.

 

But, I would like to suggest that you not give money. However, I do suggest offering to buy food if that's what they're asking for. I sometimes buy a few one-day bus passes and if transportation is the issue,  I will give them the bus pass. Have I ever given money? Yes, because sometimes you have to do what you think is right and you hope they'll use it for good.

 

 

What should we do to help?  What should we say, if anything?

To panhandlers I would say be wise and use caution.  If you are willing to go into a store with them and purchase a limited amount of food or a sandwich, there's not much to say.  But, sometimes there may be an artist who may be playing music, or have sketched a picture with pencil and it's possible you might be able to have a really good conversation with him or her.  Just use caution.

 

 

What is the most important thing we need to know about those that are homeless?

Don't judge them.  People who are homeless and on drugs don't want to be on drugs ---  it wasn't a career goal --- but it happened and now there's an addiction. People who got evicted are not necessarily poor money managers nor do they want something for free. Things happen.  Of course there are some things that we make happen, but I think we need to know that it is by the grace of God that's not us.  Never take your current living situation for granted, because it can all go away in a second, whether by a fire, loss of income, or loss of family/friends, etc.

 

Jacqui, thank you for taking the time to share with us a part of your every day life.  By the giving of yourself today, you've given us knowledge and it's been said that knowledge is power.  If this is true, then what we choose to do with the information we have now, will be entirely up to us.

 

Let's choose well, friends.

3 Minutes < or > with Author Jene' Luciani & Free Give-a-way

This post is the first in an on-going series I call "3 Minutes < or > (more or less) with..."  and I'm excited to introduce our first guest ---  author, fellow blogger and fashion expert, Jene' Luciani.  You can follow Jene' at: www.JeneLuciani.com, read her blog, www.beautyandtheburbs.com, follow her at @thebrabook, or check her out in The NY Daily News.

 

 
 

 Jene', right now, what percentage of women do you think are wearing the wrong bra?

Well, Oprah said 85% so it must be true right? JSeriously, though, almost all of us are, whether we like to admit it or not. When I started researching for the book 3 years ago, I was one of them! It was like an epiphany when I got into the “right” one. Another big reason most of us are getting it wrong is that we aren’t realizing that our bra size can change as soon as every 6 mos! As we age, gain or lose weight, have hormonal changes like menopause and life changes like pregnancy, our breasts and therefore our bra size is changing through all of this.  We must be cognizant of that.

Why is it so difficult to find the proper bra? 

Because most women don’t fit into a “mold.” Our bodies are all different and no 2 breasts are alike!! So trying to fit on some size “scale” is tough for most women.  A custom fitting bra is best, but not cost-effective. I recommend getting fitted, using that size as a guideline, trying on a bunch of bras to find out what brands and styles fit YOU best, and then taking the few bras you buy to your tailor for THE BEST custom fit, without spending hundreds for an actual CUSTOM bra.

For years I've been stuck in a size rut.  I have just assumed that my "girls" have remained the same size, therefore, I've worn the same sized bra for the last five years.  Is this a common misconception?

Yes – this is THE biggest misconception!  As I mention above, our bodies are constantly changing and the breasts are the first things to shift with all those changes.  So besides your size changing, you should also be buying new bras at least once a year. The sweat and oils in our skin – and washing our bras –breaks down the elasticity in them and they simply STOP doing their job. 

In the book, you have a chart which explains which bra is right for each body type. That information was extremely helpful.  Do most women not even think about their body type when they are shopping for bras? 

Most women don’t realize that they simply CAN’T wear every single style bra that they may think looks pretty on the rack (literally LOL).  For example, I have very full breasts so no matter how much I’d like to, I just can’t wear those pretty little demi (half-cup) styles.  Also, I wanted women to realize that certain styles could actually ENHANCE their God given figures.  So if you’re a pear shape, which means heavier on the bottom, then you could actually buy a nice push-up bra that gives you more curves up top and balances out your bottom half. 

What's the one bra faux-pas you most often have to correct?

Not wearing the right size is the most common faux pas…and that causes a multitude of other faux pas, from the “four boob effect” (breast tissue billowing out the tops of your cups) to the dreaded back fat. Most women that have back bulges aren’t even heavy women…they are just wearing a band that’s too tight!

I'm almost embarrassed to say this, but I've been putting my bra on the wrong way.  Is this pretty common? 

Yes, most women don’t know there is a proper method to putting on a bra. You want to bend over so all your breast tissue falls forward so it settles properly in the cup. Women that do this, have discovered cleavage they didn’t even know they had. 

Do I really have to spend a lot of money to get a decent bra?  What about one of  those department store bras?

The department stores have great brands at great price points and a multitude of sizes…they also often have trained fitters on hand…some dept stores even have “programs” their employees have to go through to learn about bra fittings. So that’s a great place to shape.  You can certainly go to lower end stores and buy bras but they just may not last as long. I believe you get what you pay for. 

According to the book, I am not taking proper care of my bras.  What are the best care instructions?

Obviously hand washing is the best solution but who has time for that?  You can put your bras in the washing machine in a mesh garment bag that you can get at Wal Mart for a few dollars. Just be sure to air dry, the heat in the dryer will destroy your bras. Also be mindful of how you store your bras and travel with them – be careful not to crush the cups or bend the underwires.

I absolutely love this book, Jene'.  It's not just about bras.  You discuss breast health from a physical and emotional point of view.  That's  extremely important.  What is the most important thing you would like people know about this book?

I wanted to share my story in hopes that it helps other young girls and women who are also suffering from self esteem issues related to their breasts. I also think it’s important to note that I’m not someone who owns a bra store or who has an agenda (like to sell my products to women). I am a journalist who spent YEARS doing interviews and researching everything bras, in hopes of helping other women like myself. 

I have learned so much and I'm looking forward (for the first time) to bra shopping.  Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me.

Anytime!! Thank you so much for the support! J

 

Friends, this is a beautiful book ---  from the cover to the vivid, live-model photos.  And it's a stylish book packed with informative, detailed knowledge on everything from the history of the bra, to how to choose a bra during every stage of your life, to what to look for in a bra post-mastectomy. You will also find expert sizing tips, celebrity quotes, a tear-out shopping guide and thoughts on bras from a man's perspective (an interesting read, indeed).

Jene' has graciously offered to send an autographed copy of "The Bra Book" to one of you.  To enter the drawing, tell us what piece of clothing, outfit or accessory that, once you have it on, makes you feel and look really, really good.

The random drawing will be held March 24, 2010 at 10:00 p.m. (Kansas City time).